from mommy..

Dear Baby,

mommy wrote this after a day i knew i'm pregnant (Fri,22 June). first of all i'm so sorry if you can feel the 'unhappy' i am..its not that i'm not happy to have u. NO. its just i'm confused..frightened..no confident.. but at the same time i really want to tell the whole world that your daddy going to be a daddy!!

i did the test while in office, actually i have a plan to hide it from ur daddy.. i'm sorry if u can feel the 'unwanted' felt from me.. even i can feel u r here..right inside my tummy, but there's still a hope for the result to be negative.. no. its not that i dont want u.. its like i dunnooo what to doo....

i'm so sorry for contemplating on u.. i am so sorry...

its a relief when one of my fren said

"its exciting to have a baby, but u hv to sacrifice a bit of ur own fun

wtv it is, jz believe its the best decided for both of u.."

well, by thinking of there is still a lots of thing i wanna do.. lots of thing i still owe ur grandmas and grandpas.. there's is still a lots of thing i wanna do for ur uncles and aunties.. there's still lots of thing i wanna do for myself.. for ur daddy.. here goes all the negative minds..

BUT, i wish that u can see how happy, how shock, how excited ur daddy when i told him u r here.. he stop the walk.. he can't see the KFC even its just around us..he's shaking..his hand veryyy cold..he like dunno where to go..he lost his track!.. he speechless. he hold my hand tightly..very tight. he look at me like he wanna kiss me..hug me.. but we are in the middle of shopping complex..hee.. he cant stop his smile until we slept last nite.. 

see how happy ur daddy, i lost all my confused..my miserable.. only thing i felt is i am the happiest woman in the world!.. because i can make ur daddy as the happiest man in the world! i'm sorry that i forgot to record daddy's face.. maybe when u come to the world lets have some video..at least u will be there also. =)

we had sweet talk bout u last nite, since mommy and daddy was soo excited.. i always want to keep my eyes open on ur daddy's face..so that ur eyes..u nose..ur lips will look like him..hehe..they r waayy cuter than mine..but i wish not the hair.. c'mon..spare some for mommy..ok baby?..hehe

insyaallah.. u going to change our world.. u r the symbol of our love...

alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..i know u r the best rezeki from Allah..

i hope u keep well, insyaallah i will try my best to be the best mom for u..


at first, we just relied on the 2 test.. n daddy so takut if the test is only a prank..hehe.. insyaallah..i know u not that noty..hehe.. i cant sleep well last nite cos of the fever.. i felt very hot inside..ur daddy took care of me very well, alhamdulillah.... 


i tot u only 10 days old, but doc had confirmed u should be 1 month old already. i'm sorry i didnt notice it earlier and may be i have done something that could harm you syg.. doc advised me to take only good food for you.. i'll try ok?


i'm not supposed to shared it over here yet, i know its still too early..
but i might need helps & doa from those who read this for u syg..
keep doing well n mommy & daddy will try the best for you..  mmuuaahh!



from mommy,
Saturday, 23 June 2012

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's day to Abah sy!

selalu asik cerita psl mak je.. jrg cerita psl abah..huhu.. tp abah sy sbnrnye the BEST dad in the world!

abah adalah org yg sangaaaaat penyabar.. n pendiam.. kena contra dgn mak yg kuat bebel..keke

ada la pkck2 yg kdg2 ckp2 abah tu asik diaamm je.. but that is the good side of abah.

diam2 abah berisi.. he can do anything!..

abah masak laksa lebih sedap dr mak.. bias la kan sbb abah org perak..hehe

abah bole cipta mcm2..innovative stuff.

dulu slalu jd the most creative dlm kelas seni sbb abah tolong..hehe

kdg2 mak selalu hangin sbb kerja yg sepatutnye cepat jd lambat.. contoh latest nk bentukkan dawai utk kelopak bunga stokin..kena guna beberapa jenis size.. so kitorg guna botol ubat la.. botol pencuci muka la..mak mintak tlg abah ptg2 dawai je..tp tlg kejap lepas tu dia pg stor..ambik btg2 paip yg dah xpakai.. sambung2 n ada mcm2 size.. tggl pusing2 utk lilit ikut size..xpyh tuka2 botol..

some people here seems surprised bila sy ckp, my dad yang cut my hair..true!

pernah pg saloon dulu..konon nk buat style lain.. end up balik rumah suh abah ptg.. sebab rasa xbest.. smpi umur 25.. abah masih ptg rambut sy! yeay! en.suami pun senang hati sbb xpyh susah2 nk cari kedai gunting rambut tertutup..n dia sgt lega bila tau mmg sejak kecik..hanya abah yg ptgkan rambut..keke

suara abah sedap. dulu la.. skrg da versi kilauan emas yg xberapa gilap..keke

tp kalau mengaji bertaranom..masih sedap.. owh ye.. sy khatam dgn abah sndiri.. abah ajar siap dgn tajwid n sifat2 n jenis2 huruf.. *byk da lupe*

abah xmerokok.. masa muda2 ada la.. tp outside the house..pernah nmpk mak merajuk sbb abah merokok dgn arwah atuk.. dulu pernah tanya.. sejak bila abah berhenti merokok..
abah jawab: 'sejak abah belajar mengaji..'
sy bangga!

abah pandai main muzik.. abah yg akan prepare code piano dulu.. selalu suruh abah dgr lagu westlife.. pastu buatkan code utk piano..nnti sy tggl tekan2 je..keke

abah kelakar the way he is.. even pendiam tp full with sense of humor!

i've started sleep in my own bedroom when i'm 5..sbb mase tu da ada adik.. mula2 mmg takut..tp lama2 berani la jugak.. bila da start berani abah takut kan balik.. dia akan guna kain batik ikat kat mata mcm ninja n terjah.. or guna scarf hitam pastu pki telekung lompat2 mcm pocong.. abah pernah pakai baju kebaya mak!..pastu dia letak bedak sejuk kat muka..

kalau mak tukar syampoo baru.. masa mndi nnti dia keluarkan kepala smbil tiru iklan syampoo tu..

owhh..i miss old times!

abah jenis yg tenaaang je.. walaupun ada masalah.. walaupun abah jrg tunjuk how much he care for us like what mom did.. tp diam2 sbnrnye abah yg ingtkan mak.. how was me, ada duit ke x.. n he still hulur duit masa last visit to KL last month.. i'm a wife dad.. i have husband now..

no worries for me pls.. =(

*kesat air mata*

dulu xrapat sgt dengan abah.. serius xrapat..xtau mcm mana nk rapat..n what topic for conversion.. tp start program motivasi masa form 5.. terus dgn abah mcm like no more boundaries between us... susah xsusah..sy tetap cari topic to start our conversion.. dah abah pendiam kan.

i owe u SHAMS!

program tu betul2 change me a lot!!.. change me, my parents n our family..syg adik2 je xdpt rase..

bila buat list mcm ni.. ya allah.. bertuah sungguh rasa nye dikurniakan ibu bapa yg plg indah...

*dulu kecik selalu terpikir kenapa xdilahirkan sbg ank raja* keke...

dan ya allah..masih byk hutang budi yang belum langsai utk mereka.. selalunye anak sulung kawen lambat

sbb sepatutnye anak sulung la yg berjasa pd family..yg bantu family..

rasa berslh sgt sbb till now i've done nothing much..

sbb rasa tidak kuat..rasa xcukup tabah utk jd independent.. mungkin kalau masih belum ada sesiapa di hati..mungkin akan dikuat2 kan jugak utk independent *terpaksa la kan*.. tp disebabkan ada.. utk mengelakkan perkara2 atau umpatan2 yg tidak sepatutnye.. sy bertekad utk berkahwin pd usia 25 tahun.. *dulu siap janji umur 27 baru kawen*..huhu

alhamdulillah.. en.suami adalah yg plg disenangi keluarga..harap2 raya tahun ni mak xpyh la ikut abah cari buluh lemang..abah xpyh la jaga api sorg2.. ada la org tlg basuh carpet..haaa.. da ada 'what to do list' utk si suami di hari raya.. sorry bang!..keke

xsbr nk raya! *ttbe*

jom baca doa ni:

bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

ya allah ya tuhan ku.. kau ampunilah dosa ibu2 dan bapa2 kami.. tempatkanlah mereka dikalangan

org2 yang beriman.. kurniakanlah mereka kesihatan yang baik.. perluaskanlah rezeki kami agar 

dpt berbakti pada ibu bapa kami..kau permudahkanlah urusan kami agar berpeluang 

memberikan kebahagiaan kepada ibu2 dan bapa2 kami..amiinn.....

hadiah utk abah dah bg.. utk ayah belum lg.. semoga rezeki bulan ni tuk carikan sesuatu utk ayah.. ayah selalu dtg..tp xselalu dpt entertained.. maaf ayah..huu.. 

selamat hari bapa utk abah and ayah! =D

Done & To be done

Dec 04 - Finish School
May 06 - Join Matriculation
July 06 - Start Uni Life
7th May 08 - Dating
31st May 10 - Graduated
1st Dec 10 - Officially hired with a dream job
25th Dec 10 - Engaged
10th Mar 12 - Married
1st June 12 - Officially hired with perm position

Alhamdulillah.....

Insyaallah...

July 12 - 1st Ramadhan w hubby
Aug 12 - 1st Raya w hubby
13 - Holiday year
14 - Parenting year + Senior Test Eng to be + haji for Mak & Abah
15 - Umrah for us?

Amiiiiinnn...
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

lempeng+sambal ikan bilis

otw balik..
'yang, mlm ni tido awal la ea.. esok kena pg awal..'
'ok..'

dah siap2.. ttbe
'yang..kalau dpt lempeng mlm ni sedap jugakkan?'
dgn pantas ke hall..angkat ganggang telefon..
en suami terpinga2.. 'nak call sape?..kenapa call mak?'
'nak mintak resepi sambal ikan bilis..'
*en suami tepuk dahi* =P

akhirnya...terhasil...

en suami: 'kalau tau sedap mcm ni..dr dulu da suruh buat'
*kembang hidung ai*

my first attempt sambal ikan bilis. totally like mom's.. yeay!!

84 hari..

belum 100 hari lagi rupanya.. rasa mcm da lama..huhu..

start dr last week smpi next week maybe.. news feed FB penuh dgn gambar kenduri kawen.. alhamdulillah!!.. i'm happy for u guys!..

mostly kenduri di JB mmg susah nk pg..

1. masa

2. kerja

3. cost

huhu.. mgu ni pulak mak dtg KL.. rindu!.. supposedly mak stay for one week.. tp abah xnak cuti seminggu.. lama sgt kata nye.. so abah ckp xpe la.. mak tinggal.. ari jumaat nnti dia dtg ambik..

*muka bahagia* bole gosip ngn mak lama2 sikit..yeay yeay yeay!

ttbe mak ckp kesian plak kat abah.. nak drive balik sorg2.. mak mmg susah nk lepaskan abah drive sorg2 kalau jauh..huhu... rasanye dah mula fhm perasaan tu skrg.. 

memandangkan mmg da pesan awal2 nk mkn apa..mcm2 la mak bwk.. yg xde dia g beli sndr kat econsave.. huhu.. dah berganda2 bwg putih bwg merah..

sbbkan masa awal2 mak kat sini dia mcm kuat hati utk tggl so main masak2 mcm biasa je la.. tp ttbe xjd.. hari rabu tu mak pulun msk mcm2 n meninggalkan stok2nye..keke

jadinya..anak dia yg da jd bini org tp masih pemalas ini hanya tggl masuk dlm microwave shj..lalalalalalala 

ooo...sy bukan penggemar ikan.. xsemua ikan sy mkn.. dulu lg teruk. semua ikan xmkn.. bila dah alam uni.. seronok agaknye tgk byk2 lauk yg bole pilih2 sndr n byr.. teruja la tgk ikan2..*tp xbeli jugak..balik suh mak mskkan ikan yg sama..keke

tp.. sy adalah pemakan ikan sungai..yeah..ikan yg berbau tu.. kalau mkn lekat bau kat tgn.. kalau ikan patin tu.. lemak2 adalah yg lemak..huhu...slurrppp..

hari selasa mak masak ikan baung.. tp pelik sbb masa simpan lauk2 nmpk ikan tu byk..bila da msk sikit.. rupanya mak tak perasan ada lagu satu bekas ikan tu.. mak niiii...kan sy kena msk sendiri.. =(.... =P

keke..

pagi2 da tepon mak mcm mana nk msk ikan tu..huhu..so tadaa!!

ikan baung msk sambal.

-lada kering+kunyit+bwg merah (blend)

-bwg merah hiris2

-ikan goreng dulu..tp jgn garing sgt.. lepas tu goreng lada smpi garing..letak garam secukup rasa.. masuk kan bwg hiris..kacau2..masukkan ikan.. gaul rata. tutup api. hidang!

mak pesan..masak ikan sungai..jgn letak bwg putih.. nnti.. *xingat da* hak3... lepas ni bole la mskkan ikan patin tuk MIL (her favourite)..nak amik ati la kata kann..kui kui kui..

our lunch today.. fuhh.. bepeluh ai masak..keke

lepas en.suami dah siap mkn..kita kemas mcm ni!

rasa indah sungguh pemandangan bila lepas mkn meja mcm ni..huu..

our family sgt jrg dpt mkn sama2.. mak pun jrg berhidang2 ni..lg2 lepas balik duduk kampung.. dulu masa dia fulltime housewife ada la.. masa tu la i've been train to clean up meja lepas mkn.. so, bila dia dtg KL.. since abah xmenghilang pg belakang rumah ke stor ke..betulkan reban ayam ke..bakar sampah ke.. dpt la we all sit together.. siap mkn kemas..mak smpi menjerit..

'waaaaahhhh..mak rasa lega mata bila tgk meja mcm ni'

haha..poyo mak ni..but me too.. lg teruk if xbyk lauk.. meja ni kosong terus.. semua tupperware susun kat kabinet dapur only..

alhamdulillah.. i love my family and all the way we are!!.. mmuah!

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

I am

after a while..

today.. 1st June 2012.. i am officially a Test Engineer at Scope International.

Alhamdulillah...

dah lama tunggu..dah lama sbr.. nk kata byk sgt air mata xde jugak.. tp tenaga mmg betul2 teruji.. lg2 dgn SIMCO..plus wedding prep..

rasa terbyr sudah.. 

actually manager pun ada ckp why i converted earlier than everyone.. because i'm doing SIMCO..haha..

sbnrnye dah ugut nk resign.. =P

td after lunch baru position kat outlook bertukar.. *senyum*

seronok!! =D

even dlm mggu ni hanya betul2 kerja utk 2 hari..pastu pagi2 da dpt amukan bos besar..

3 email je.. tp tanda soal dia lebih 20.. nk contoh?

'Why no update on this?????????????????'

haa..mcm ni... ni pun da cukup bagus.. ada hari lagi x bagus.. dia bg mcm ni..

'WHY NO UPDATE???!!!'

begitu lah..padahal dia yg xcheck email..mcm td.. sy dpt menyeyapkan dia dgn memfwd email yg telah dihantar kpd bos kecik tp tidak direpot kpd bos besar..hahaha..

tips utk terus maju: jgn ambik hati bila bos buat mcm ni..kalau slh say sorry n cepat2 betulkan hantar balik.. kalau betul.. hantar bukti..haha

well, we a tester.. kdg2 email pun kitorg print screen hokeh.. penting!

this week jugak ada dpt call for interview.. as software tester of course.. maybe sbb baru lepas update resume kat jobstreet..huhu.. alhamdulillah.. 

buat masa ni..nak stop apply.. takut miserable nnti..huhu.. insyaallah.. i will try my best in Scope for at least 3 years more.. or 2 years.. *eh..makin sikit pulak..huhu.. will leave with a pride as Senior Test Engineer.. haa..gituu.. mcm nk g berperang je..huu..

so scope. bersbr la dgn sy and level 2.. jgn la jemu nengok muka den ni utk 3 years more ye..

*matik la 3 tahun entry dlm ni asik citer psl ibanking..haha

target nk balik johor..johor johor johor... 

ok dah. xtau nk citer ape..

p/s:.. mls nk betulkan 'menyeyapkan' tu.. en.suami yg tegur trtggl satu 'n'..lalalalalala

Jujurnya..

saya dah mula teringin memiliki...........

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becoz.. i'm wondering.. what would it be after this combination?

=P

Happy Mother's Day!

this is my mom..

she's gorgeous kan?.. i always admirer her..always..always.. she's beautiful no matter what she's looks like..

mak adalah anak bongsu.. manja..yes. mmg manja.. bukan manja yg asik menempel dgn parents ke apa.. tp manja yg xtau la nk ckp mcm mana.. and actually she's fragile..

sy bangga utk ckp mak sy mmg cantik!.. dr muda smpi skrg.. cuma sekarang bdn mak berisi.. tp look at her face..

naturally beautiful.. mungkin sbb she's mix malay n chinese.. mak putih..muka jarang gila ada pimples.. rambut xyah ckp la..ada sorg mkck from abah side pernah cerita.. opah pernah ckp.. mak menantu cantik sbb mak putih..n mcm bring lights to the family..haha..

mak sy adalah org yg sgt2 sgt2 sgt2 positive..dlm apa2 pun yg terjadi..

kalau ada org2 yg bahasa2 kan dia.. dia hanya senyum.. walaupun bila dia cerita balik.. bergenang air matanye..tp dia akan ckp.. 'xpe la.. satu hari nnti mungkin org tu akan sedar n malu sndr..'

kalau dia penat letih serabut..mcm nk lari.. kecik hati dgn org.. dia akan tido.. mungkin dah puas mengadu ngn abah..mak akan call sy.. kdg2 terkejut sbb tiba2 dia call dgn suara yg lain.. kdg2 dia mcm xnak cerita.. but after i said..

'maakk..ada apa ni..cuba cerita..'

terus akan menangis tersedu2.. then cerita2.. in the end.. dia akan come out dgn.. 'mak dah lega sikit dah.. xpe la..dah mmg perangai dia mcm tu..nk buat mcm mana kan..' -still-

org selalu pertikaikan how she's manage us.. ikutkan sgt yg kitorg ni cerewet makan.. ikutkan sgt permintaan kitorg..dia akan selalu diam..sbb hanya mak je yg tau how to handle us..

masak2 yg pelik2..nnti xde org mkn.. beli pelik2..nnti xde org guna.. so she's more to give us a chance with a choices..kalau perkara tu xbest not her fault..

mcm sy dulu.. dikritik teruk.. dimarah teruk oleh org lain.. sbb. dpt course computer science in uni.. mak?

dia nmpk muka sy dah berubah.. then, cepat2 ajak balik.. dlm kereta dia ckp.. 'abaikan je.. susah nk fhmkan org..diorg xrasa lg tgk nnti bila smpi masa anak2 diorg..'

mak bukan mendoakan something bad utk org tu.. tp mak mendoakan supaya org tu will learn something..if not today.. maybe in future..

1st sem di UiTM not easy for me.. belajar benda yg xsuka langsung.. mak cuba usahakan contact org sana sini utk tukar cos..smpi dpt support letter one of the dean which is sepupu abah..

ttbe bila dah satu sem.. sy terfikir.. mungkin ada hikmah kenapa tercampak masuk dlm course ni..n kenapa xlayak utk course yg di apply..

mak ckp.. 'terpulang pd awak.. awak yg nak belajar..kalau rasa boleh bwk..cuba la.. mak rasa ada betulnya.. semua yg jd msti ada hikmah'

bila nk apply kerja.. pun mcm tu jugak.. mak xpernah when suddenly berhenti kerja n masuk training.. xdpt bg mak duit pun..mak bg duit lg ada la.. smpi da kerja pun.. mak akan tnye ada duit lg ke x..

relationship.. xyah ckp la berapa bakul da yg dicerita kat mak..mula2 rasa malu jugak nk cerita.. tp the way she treats me.. xrase segan nk bukak cerita yg I have someone important on my side.. n she trust me...

mak ckp.. dia percaya dekat semua anak2 dia... jd bila i kept doubting bout my brother... mak akan ckp..'mak percaya dia xbuat'

hopefully adik2 sy tau yg mak percaya diorang.. jd diorang jgn la buat benda bukan2 pls.

dlm video kawin..mak ada ckp.. dia mintak maaf kalau selama dia jaga dia byk menyakitkan.. sy membesar dgn ibu muda and as anak sulung..byk hal yg kdg2 dr sndr pun xfhm kenapa mak marah n xpuas hati.. tp makin lama..mak makin berubah..mak jd org yg sgt sabar n lebih considerate..

mayb sbb sy dah besar..n dah boleh fhm..buat kerja tanpa disuruh.. bila dah besar jugak baru fhm.. the way she treats me is for my own good.

during the nikah day.. xrasa sedih sgt pun.. coz for me nothing change. dah lama da duduk merantau sndr.. cuma skrg ada org jaga...seronok ada la...keke.. sbb xperlu independent sgt lg...muahaha.. tanggungjawab pun insyaallah.. xde ape yg berubah..

tp mak.. most of the picture dia nangis.. masa nk keluar dr bilik pun da nangis.. masa peluk xyah ckp la..

mungkin dia rasa tanggungjawab dah bertukar tgn.. kalau dulu dia boleh suruh balik kg sesuka hati.. skrg dia kena suruh sy balik kg tp mintak izin dgn suami..

mungkin tu la bezanya..

until now.. walaupun sy jarang balik.. mak akan call everyweek.. first word mak.. 'lama xdgr suara awak.. sihat ke x..'

kalau sy yg call mak ari jumaat..mak ttbe call lg ari ahad.. pastu citer bnda2 yg sama..
'mak da citer laa..kan kita baru borak ari jumaat..'
'eh yeke.. mcm lama je xdgr suara awak..'

mak lupa agaknye sy da ada husband yg menjaga..huhu.. kalau call xcecah sejam 2 xsah.. its good kitorg xde chance nak call hari2 sbb mak bz berniaga..kalau x xtau la bill telefon rumah tu brape..dah pernah cecah ribu dah bill rumah tu..huu

huuu... 

kdg2 i'm bit jeles tgk org yg dpt duduk dgn mak masa belajar..masa kerja.. tp sbnrnye i'm lucky enough walaupun xdpt jumpa hari2.. we r soooo close!

rindu maak...rindu.....plg best borak masa masak..n ptg2 time mak rehat dlm bilik.. baring sama2.. borak2.. cerita xpernah abis!..yg lagi best.. sy dikurniakan husband yg perangai xjauh beza dgn abah.. sooo, tips2 mak adalah penting!..kekeke.. 

Terima Kasih Mak.. you are such a wonderful MOM in the WORLD!

i have present for u.. i'm sure u will super like it. walaupun xseberapa.. my first bonus for mak n abah.. hope i can give more for 2nd bonus...

for mother in law.. hadiah dah smpi awal2..hehe.. n she said she like it.. alhamdulillah..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to BOTH OF U!

muka MIL sy mmg nmpk garang.. tp sbnrnye mak mcm mr.k jugak.. suka senyumm..huhu